Yes, life can really be tough for us LGBTI+ people from time to time. There are even moments when all the pressure we face. In those moments I often find myself wondering how I am going to keep going.
Sometimes I try to ease this stress through meditation or by throwing myself into fun activities, but it does not always work. Those methods can give a bit of surface-level relief at times. That is when I notice I need something deeper and more solid. After lowering my stress a little with some shows I enjoy or casual conversations, studying comes into play.
Studying might not be the most typical coping method for everyone but for me turning it into a habit carries a completely different meaning. Especially when it comes to focusing on challenging subjects. When I am stressed, after loosening up a bit, I often find myself studying for hours. When I am relaxed and at peace I understand things much faster and my productivity is higher. Stress can definitely slow down my comprehension and focus, that is just a fact. But on the other hand, instead of getting worn out inside that stress I manage to redirect my mind to a completely different area. In a way I turn the energy of stress into productivity. It feels like a form of self care I give myself. Do not laugh at me for being such a nerd 😀
Since realising this I have started thinking that maybe this is what we call regulation. Regulation is not about completely eliminating stress or emotional burdens, it is about managing and transforming them. When I take stress and channel it into something productive and meaningful I see how much it benefits me in the long run. I am learning new things and at the same time transforming my stress. I also avoid problems like feeling crushed by the guilt of wasting too much time or neglecting my responsibilities. Of course this usually works when the stress is at a moderate level.
And honestly if we are constantly exposed to sources of stress in our lives this method becomes even more valuable. Because if stress is unavoidable at least it is possible to extract some success, some production and some growth from it. Personally I truly believe in this. Spending our time productively, dedicating ourselves to something and putting in the effort has a way of protecting us both in the present and in the future. And the best part is this: even while doing this stress may still exist in our lives but it stops being something that drains us and starts becoming something that gives us strength. While living life with all its weight the feeling of still being able to build yourself with your own hands is indescribable to me.