For us LGBTI+ individuals, the same paths you walk are paved with pebbles. And if we don’t have a protective family and support behind us, we are forced to walk those pebbles barefoot. Some of us give up halfway through, turn back, or complete those paths more slowly, faced with challenges. Perhaps for you, studying is all about studying and self-discipline, perhaps due to financial hardships. For us, it’s a burden weighing on us, a gravel road, like loneliness, discrimination, pressure, bullying, sometimes violence, and sometimes insecurity. Of course, this includes managing our own stress levels and maintaining a state of well-being that allows us to focus on our studies. There are tens of thousands of us trying to study on such a challenging path. Perhaps even more. There are those who are eager to work, hold on to life, and learn, and who don’t give up on their paths even when their feet hurt. Instead of criticizing us, could you hold our hands? If only you understood that we didn’t choose these pebbled paths ourselves. There’s no end to the criticisms, mutual. I wish no one would interfere with each other’s space and would love us by looking at our hearts.
Sometimes, even among us LGBTI+ individuals, I’m deeply saddened by the disrespectful, critical, and hurtful comments we hear about each other based on individual values or identity. Instead of making our already arduous and bumpy paths, which share similar fates, even more arduous, even more arduous, wouldn’t it be more constructive to consider how we can make things easier for each other? Due to the challenges we face, we sometimes fail to pay sufficient attention and awareness to these issues, but I believe this is a truly important issue.
I believe we need more of the phrases “for each other’s comfort,” “for each other’s well-being,” and most importantly, “for each other’s safety” in our lives. So, ask those around you, “What can I do for you?” “What can I do for your comfort?” “What can I do to make you feel safe or secure?” Don’t hesitate to ask. While asking these questions may sometimes take effort, if you have the energy, you can make a significant difference in someone’s life. And maybe even add another person to the chain of people who care about each other’s comfort, well-being, and safety. Sometimes an act touches someone so deeply that you indirectly encourage compassion. And sometimes, your compassion can be so beneficial that the other person may have already received it, internalized it, and made it a part of them. And this grows in a chain reaction. It contributes to our collective well-being. Compassion, like love, grows as we share it.
Even though we will experience both the lightness and the heaviness of showing compassion, the compassion of doing good to another heart is a peace for both my soul and my body.
Ozgur Deniz Pınar