My Dearest LGBTI+ Friends,
Sometimes a single touch can say more than a thousand words, especially when that touch carries acceptance, trust, love, and a deep sense of belonging.
For us as LGBTQI+, life is often filled with invisible wounds: the questioning stares at our identities, the need to love quietly, the isolating silences… But every compassionate touch is an act of healing. Every soft contact is the gentlest way of saying, “I see you, and you belong.”
Soothing Touch is not just a physical gesture; it’s a state of being. A safe shoulder, a listening hand, an encouraging embrace… It is a bond that makes us who we are, that nurtures us, that makes our pain visible and allows it to heal.
Let me begin with the personal practice:
Daily Practice: Soothing Touch Ritual (Short Individual Practice)
This practice is a way of honouring your presence, connecting with your body, and nurturing your sense of inner safety. You can do it each morning, or whenever you feel the need.
✦ Preparation:
Choose a corner just for yourself. Let it be quiet, dim, or simply a space where you feel safe. You can bring a scent you love (like lavender, rose, bergamot, etc.), a meaningful object (a stone, photo, symbol, or rainbow-themed item). What matters most is that you feel comfortable.
✦ Practice:
Place Your Hand on Your Heart
Close your eyes. Gently place your hand over your heart. Take a few deep breaths.
Whisper silently to yourself:
“I allow myself to be here in this moment. My existence matters.”
Touch Your Shoulders or Face
With your other hand, slowly touch your shoulders or your face. If you like, caress your cheeks, stroke your hair, bring loving touch to the parts of your body that need care. Approach yourself with the tenderness of someone who truly loves you: a close friend, a pet, or maybe someone who held you gently in childhood. Give yourself this moment without rushing.
This becomes a layer of protection that you offer yourself in a harsh world.
If you wish, you can add:
– “I love myself in all my forms. Sweetheart, I’m here with you.”
Offer Yourself a Loving Phrase
Create one compassionate sentence each day.
Examples:
– “I embrace my love, my colours, my existence.”
– “This body is my home. I love myself as I am.”
– “Today, I allow my heart to soften.”
Closing the Practice
Slowly lower your hand from your heart. Before opening your eyes, gently give yourself a smile, only if it feels right.
And perhaps, say:
“Today, I choose to hold myself with kindness.”
If you’d like to explore this further, you can look into the self-compassion practices of Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer, or read their book “The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook.”
Extending Soothing Touch into Collective Life
1. Creating Safe Spaces – Quiet but Deep
That moment you rest your head on a friend’s shoulder, or walk hand in hand without shame down an empty street, or feel accepted just as you are… Soothing Touch begins in spaces.
You can create safe social spaces, gatherings, and meetups for LGBTQI+. Maybe a movie night, maybe a tea hour. As long as being there is enough.
2. The Language of Touch: Expressing Tenderness Through Art
A painting, a performance, a poem, ways the soul touches without skin.
You could launch a creative project: a visual, poetic, or photographic collection called “The Softest Touch.” Each piece could capture a moment of queer tenderness.
3. Digital Soothing Touch – Hugs Beyond Screens
Not everyone can be physically present, but emotional presence is always possible.
Start a “Soothing Circle” online, send weekly messages of support to someone. These can be anonymous or openly shared.
Sometimes all someone needs to hear is: “We’re thinking of you today.”
4. Self-Care as a Form of Touch
Soothing Touch also means treating your own body with care.
A beloved skincare ritual, a fragrant shower, a playlist that feels like a warm hug, these are all valid forms of self-touch.
Write your own self-care guide. Share it. This too can be a way to soothe.
5. The Power of Consensual Physical Contact
Hugs, holding hands, resting your head on someone’s shoulder…
These forms of touch can be powerful sources of healing.
When with an LGBTQI+ friend, kindly ask if you may lean on their shoulder or give them a hug. This honours their bodily autonomy and their need for safety.
You are beautiful just as you are.
And this touch, it’s for you.
For peaceful moments and gentle self-soothing…
With all my love, endlessly.
Ozgur Deniz Pinar